The battle between being SELFLESS and SELFISH rages within me and increasingly, I want selfish to emerge as the victor.
By nature, I am a loner. I was born and raised as an only child. Some of my most peaceful and joyous moments are spent within the comforts and confines of my own home or car, or mind. Solitude creates safety.
By nature, I am a giver. I will do for others, and give of my heart and talents, tirelessly, making certain that the needs and requests of others are met with thoroughness and extra special care. Giving creates vulnerability.
Therein lies the conflict.
I am a firm believer that you should not give to others, in any sense, emotionally, physically, intellectually, or monetarily, with the notion that the gesture should/will be reciprocated. You give because its what you want to do. Expectations of happy returns breed disappointment and in some cases, resentment.
Give freely, but wisely.
What I know now, is that it's not wise for me to proceed without boundaries, ALL THE TIME. When people want/need something from you, you have the power to dictate what happens next. When people want/need to project their "stuff" on you, you have the power to accept or reject.
Protect your goodness and your spirit, but don't change. Adjust.
As my internal struggle plays itself out, my hope is that I master the fine line between giving to others and giving to myself, with consideration for self as my guiding force.
Personal decree: After God, I am first.
That is all.
Happy New Year
Happy New YOU
-Maven aka Lois
Showing posts with label Love Me Love Me Not. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love Me Love Me Not. Show all posts
1.12.2010
3.12.2009
I'm A B
Recently, I saw a photo of a friend of a friend who was, how should I say this........packin' in her brazier. While her size was amazingly unlike anything I've EVER seen, I must admit I felt a bit envious of "freedom" and obvious confidence in the cards she was dealt.
So I happily declare......I am a B, and dammit, I like 'em! LOL!
Women and men both suffer greatly from image issues, but I am gonna deal with the ladies on this one. Fellas, I'll get at you in a separate post.
As a child and into adolescence, I was teased a great deal for being skinny. In some ways those opinions have never left me, and it manifests itself in my obsession with having a delicious boo-tay. If I had rump like Meagan Goode, Kelly Rowland or Michelle Williams (I chose them because they're tiny), then I would be batting one hundred.
The sad part in all of this, is if I surveyed ten of my friends, all would have one or two things about their bodies, face or hair, that they deemed imperfect.
There is no need to ask how we get to this point. There are endless factors that play a role, but the solution lies within! Embrace yourselves. Embrace it all; the tall, short, skinny, and plump. Claim the soft tresses, ,the weave, the tight coils, the bone straight, the kinks, the natural, the relaxed, and the short and long of it all. Celebrate the curves or the lack thereof. Love your A, B, C, D and double cups; your full or thin lips; your broad or keen nose. Have a big forehead, big feet or a chicken neck? Whatever it is, its all good, because its you!
Also, make it a point to love your sisters, regardless of race or age. We need each others approval and moral support! We must become and remain confident and strong so we're able to pass this stellar self esteem along to our lil' mamas!
Peace and Blessings,
The Maven
So I happily declare......I am a B, and dammit, I like 'em! LOL!
Women and men both suffer greatly from image issues, but I am gonna deal with the ladies on this one. Fellas, I'll get at you in a separate post.
As a child and into adolescence, I was teased a great deal for being skinny. In some ways those opinions have never left me, and it manifests itself in my obsession with having a delicious boo-tay. If I had rump like Meagan Goode, Kelly Rowland or Michelle Williams (I chose them because they're tiny), then I would be batting one hundred.
The sad part in all of this, is if I surveyed ten of my friends, all would have one or two things about their bodies, face or hair, that they deemed imperfect.
There is no need to ask how we get to this point. There are endless factors that play a role, but the solution lies within! Embrace yourselves. Embrace it all; the tall, short, skinny, and plump. Claim the soft tresses, ,the weave, the tight coils, the bone straight, the kinks, the natural, the relaxed, and the short and long of it all. Celebrate the curves or the lack thereof. Love your A, B, C, D and double cups; your full or thin lips; your broad or keen nose. Have a big forehead, big feet or a chicken neck? Whatever it is, its all good, because its you!
Also, make it a point to love your sisters, regardless of race or age. We need each others approval and moral support! We must become and remain confident and strong so we're able to pass this stellar self esteem along to our lil' mamas!
Peace and Blessings,
The Maven
7.15.2008
4.29.2008
A Piece of Peace
Tranquility seems to elude me as of late. There just seems to be SO MUCH NOISE and I'm not referring to traffic . The idiot box is wearing me thin! The mainstream media is acting like the mob an I feel as though I need to enter into protective custody. Between the reports of ensuing famine and world hunger, rising fuel prices, an increase in crime, a looming recession, and the tomfoolery that is our political process, I can't seem to concentrate. No wonder reality t.v. is doing so well. It numbs your sensibilities.
Anyway, my once certain understanding of societal issues, has now evolved into an amalgamation of anger, confusion, disbelief, doubt and indifference.
For instance, why is the life of My Man (future post) consistently challenged and devalued from inside and outside forces? He might not be important to some, but he damn sure means the world to Me. Rest peacefully, Sean Bell et al.....
Moving on, why is it that my Press-and-dent can lie, steal, cheat and stumble over simple English words for eight years with little or no resistance from the citizens, pundits or political representatives of our fair land, but My Pastor can't speak truth to power without being labeled a tyrant (I told y'all about fear)? Let the record show that I'm all for freedom of speech and opinion, but some people's criticism and ire, I think, is ill-placed.
What would The Elders say? Should we be taking to the F'n streets in new-aged revolt against our current government for the way they have been carrying us?! And by "us" I mean ALL of us, everydamnbody, regardless of race, gender, education or socio-economic status. They have treated us like a two-dollar whore (think stimulus checks). Remember and know this.... beeEss trickles down and we are all eventually affected in someway by the disrespect, deception, suffering, slighting, mistreatment and/or underserving of another human being.
Don't wait on Uncouth to come and ring your Cushy doorbell. Like Huey of The Boondocks so eloquently stated when a crazy Midwestern February day turned from 90 degrees to freezing within hours, "maybe the heat does make people crazy......before you know it, crazy becomes normal.....but, sanity eventually returns, and when it does, you better have your coat."
When you have time of course, I would be remiss if I didn't share the entire episode with you for your full understanding. It is well worth viewing here.
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to catch Sportscenter. I'll choose ball banter, stats and highlights over depressing news any day.
Go J, Go Hawks!
Anyway, my once certain understanding of societal issues, has now evolved into an amalgamation of anger, confusion, disbelief, doubt and indifference.
For instance, why is the life of My Man (future post) consistently challenged and devalued from inside and outside forces? He might not be important to some, but he damn sure means the world to Me. Rest peacefully, Sean Bell et al.....
Moving on, why is it that my Press-and-dent can lie, steal, cheat and stumble over simple English words for eight years with little or no resistance from the citizens, pundits or political representatives of our fair land, but My Pastor can't speak truth to power without being labeled a tyrant (I told y'all about fear)? Let the record show that I'm all for freedom of speech and opinion, but some people's criticism and ire, I think, is ill-placed.
What would The Elders say? Should we be taking to the F'n streets in new-aged revolt against our current government for the way they have been carrying us?! And by "us" I mean ALL of us, everydamnbody, regardless of race, gender, education or socio-economic status. They have treated us like a two-dollar whore (think stimulus checks). Remember and know this.... beeEss trickles down and we are all eventually affected in someway by the disrespect, deception, suffering, slighting, mistreatment and/or underserving of another human being.
Don't wait on Uncouth to come and ring your Cushy doorbell. Like Huey of The Boondocks so eloquently stated when a crazy Midwestern February day turned from 90 degrees to freezing within hours, "maybe the heat does make people crazy......before you know it, crazy becomes normal.....but, sanity eventually returns, and when it does, you better have your coat."
When you have time of course, I would be remiss if I didn't share the entire episode with you for your full understanding. It is well worth viewing here.
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to catch Sportscenter. I'll choose ball banter, stats and highlights over depressing news any day.
Go J, Go Hawks!
2.14.2008
Sweet Serenade
Hearts and Roses
The Maven wishes you all a Happy Valentine's Day!
Who do you love? Be it child, parent, lover, or friend, when is the last time you told them so? Get busy! There is no better time than the present.
In a former post entitled "Cabin Fever", I spoke about a man who was in the hospital and very sick. Sadly, my friend informed me of his passing last week, he had leukemia. Once again, I say, there is no better time than the present.
By the way, I love you.
Who do you love? Be it child, parent, lover, or friend, when is the last time you told them so? Get busy! There is no better time than the present.
In a former post entitled "Cabin Fever", I spoke about a man who was in the hospital and very sick. Sadly, my friend informed me of his passing last week, he had leukemia. Once again, I say, there is no better time than the present.
By the way, I love you.
2.01.2008
Democratic Debate Recap
I watched the debate.
I was excited for this historic moment.
It turned out to be a lovefest.
Ebony and Ivory, come together in perfect harmony, side by side on my piano keyboard, oh Lord, why don't weeeee?
Capitol Hill came to Hollywood and got all "picture pefect" on me.
I heard Kanye's "Flashing Lights" repeating in my head.
WTF?
Wolf Blitzer promised that the debate would cover "substantive issues", which I suppose, it did. However, the outcome seemed so rosy. So Tinseltown. Plus, there were tons of celebs there, it was like an awards show.
The candidates, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, opened the debate by heaping loads of praise, deservedly so, on John Edwards. Ok, we get it, he will be missed. Not!
Don't get me wrong, I like Edwards, but he was in the way of destiny, and it was time for him to bow out.
Next, they jumped right into differences on policy.
On healthcare, they both agree that all Americans should be covered, although their methods for getting us to that utopia differ. Barack wants to lower the overall cost of healthcare so that it is affordable to those who wish to have it. Hillary wants healthcare to be "universal",but she will "require" us to all buy some. At what cost, I am uncertain, but be sure that a tax increase is on the horizon either way.
Their solutions to the mortgage mess include a foreclosure moratoriam and five month rate freeze for Hillary, and a Barack will institute a forclosure prevention fund of about 150 billion and a correction of governmental oversight. I think that they should let folks come and live in the white house with them until this mess is fixed. I bet they will fix it in a hurry, then.
Immigration was an interesting issue, considering the debate was taking place right here in Mexi...oops, I mean LA. Lets face it, this is a touchy subject in California, and while I side with Barack on this one, I am not sure if either candidate will get it right at days end. Let me explain. A woman asked the question, "How does immigration affect the African American community?", answering first, Barack was firm in his belief that inner city unemployment rates are not related to immigration. Basically what he said is that Latinos are not taking your jobs, there were never any for you from the get go. Senator Obama wants to crackdown on the exploitation of undocumented workers by those who employ them cheaply. Senator Clinton trumpets "comprehensive immigration reform" and a tightening of the borders. She insists that we should do more to help Mexico. Excuse me, but the worlds richest man lives in Mexico. Obviously, they are generating money. I'd like to know what she means by "help". She wants to institute criteria by which undocumented persons take a path to legalization. She wants them to EARN their way into the country. Go figure. My people were forced here, now Brown people have to travel an obstacle course to get in.
The debate became most entertaining when the subject of war was introduced. Hillary says withdrawal of our troops will take time and must be done carefully and strategically. While she will begin bringing folks home within sixty days of her tenure, she admits that it could take up to a year to get the ball rolling. She thinks its time to call the Iraqui government to the carpet so that they can take responsibility for themselves. Barack believes that our long term security is in jeopardy the longer we stay in Iraq because the economic consequences will be staggering. He claims that he will bring the troops home within six months of the beginning of his presidency, and that a clear date must be set in order for the withdrawal to be taken seriously. He emphasized that he NEVER supported the war, and wants to end it now, along with the mindset that got us there in the first place.
Hillary was called out by Wolf Blitzer about her decision to vote with Young Bush on going to war, wondering aloud if she were naive in her decision making. It was a sharp and pointed question that through her off kilter a bit, but she insisted that she made a "reasoned judgement" and GWB was not "reasoned" in his execution. Basically she trusted that he would "Do The Right Thing", but in the end she was "Bamboozled". Personally, I can't understand how a woman with first hand knowledge of the first Bush administration could put her trust in anything that the bew Bush would say or do. I don't believer her. She needs more people.
From there it just became more lovey dovey, with one candidate extolling the virtues of the other. They were asked if they would run on the ticket together and they both gave a politically correct answer. Honestly, I don't see that happening. If I remember correctly, Barack stated on Oprah's show that he is not in this to become the Vice President. Only time will tell. Tuesday here we come.
I was excited for this historic moment.
It turned out to be a lovefest.
Ebony and Ivory, come together in perfect harmony, side by side on my piano keyboard, oh Lord, why don't weeeee?
Capitol Hill came to Hollywood and got all "picture pefect" on me.
I heard Kanye's "Flashing Lights" repeating in my head.
WTF?
Wolf Blitzer promised that the debate would cover "substantive issues", which I suppose, it did. However, the outcome seemed so rosy. So Tinseltown. Plus, there were tons of celebs there, it was like an awards show.
The candidates, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, opened the debate by heaping loads of praise, deservedly so, on John Edwards. Ok, we get it, he will be missed. Not!
Don't get me wrong, I like Edwards, but he was in the way of destiny, and it was time for him to bow out.
Next, they jumped right into differences on policy.
On healthcare, they both agree that all Americans should be covered, although their methods for getting us to that utopia differ. Barack wants to lower the overall cost of healthcare so that it is affordable to those who wish to have it. Hillary wants healthcare to be "universal",but she will "require" us to all buy some. At what cost, I am uncertain, but be sure that a tax increase is on the horizon either way.
Their solutions to the mortgage mess include a foreclosure moratoriam and five month rate freeze for Hillary, and a Barack will institute a forclosure prevention fund of about 150 billion and a correction of governmental oversight. I think that they should let folks come and live in the white house with them until this mess is fixed. I bet they will fix it in a hurry, then.
Immigration was an interesting issue, considering the debate was taking place right here in Mexi...oops, I mean LA. Lets face it, this is a touchy subject in California, and while I side with Barack on this one, I am not sure if either candidate will get it right at days end. Let me explain. A woman asked the question, "How does immigration affect the African American community?", answering first, Barack was firm in his belief that inner city unemployment rates are not related to immigration. Basically what he said is that Latinos are not taking your jobs, there were never any for you from the get go. Senator Obama wants to crackdown on the exploitation of undocumented workers by those who employ them cheaply. Senator Clinton trumpets "comprehensive immigration reform" and a tightening of the borders. She insists that we should do more to help Mexico. Excuse me, but the worlds richest man lives in Mexico. Obviously, they are generating money. I'd like to know what she means by "help". She wants to institute criteria by which undocumented persons take a path to legalization. She wants them to EARN their way into the country. Go figure. My people were forced here, now Brown people have to travel an obstacle course to get in.
The debate became most entertaining when the subject of war was introduced. Hillary says withdrawal of our troops will take time and must be done carefully and strategically. While she will begin bringing folks home within sixty days of her tenure, she admits that it could take up to a year to get the ball rolling. She thinks its time to call the Iraqui government to the carpet so that they can take responsibility for themselves. Barack believes that our long term security is in jeopardy the longer we stay in Iraq because the economic consequences will be staggering. He claims that he will bring the troops home within six months of the beginning of his presidency, and that a clear date must be set in order for the withdrawal to be taken seriously. He emphasized that he NEVER supported the war, and wants to end it now, along with the mindset that got us there in the first place.
Hillary was called out by Wolf Blitzer about her decision to vote with Young Bush on going to war, wondering aloud if she were naive in her decision making. It was a sharp and pointed question that through her off kilter a bit, but she insisted that she made a "reasoned judgement" and GWB was not "reasoned" in his execution. Basically she trusted that he would "Do The Right Thing", but in the end she was "Bamboozled". Personally, I can't understand how a woman with first hand knowledge of the first Bush administration could put her trust in anything that the bew Bush would say or do. I don't believer her. She needs more people.
From there it just became more lovey dovey, with one candidate extolling the virtues of the other. They were asked if they would run on the ticket together and they both gave a politically correct answer. Honestly, I don't see that happening. If I remember correctly, Barack stated on Oprah's show that he is not in this to become the Vice President. Only time will tell. Tuesday here we come.
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