Stormy Monday

I don't know what to say.......

Peace.

Mishegas

I've spoken before about my affinity for those in their golden years. The following is a prime example of why........

A Piece of Peace

Tranquility seems to elude me as of late. There just seems to be SO MUCH NOISE and I'm not referring to traffic . The idiot box is wearing me thin! The mainstream media is acting like the mob an I feel as though I need to enter into protective custody. Between the reports of ensuing famine and world hunger, rising fuel prices, an increase in crime, a looming recession, and the tomfoolery that is our political process, I can't seem to concentrate. No wonder reality t.v. is doing so well. It numbs your sensibilities.

Anyway, my once certain understanding of societal issues, has now evolved into an amalgamation of anger, confusion, disbelief, doubt and indifference.

For instance, why is the life of My Man (future post) consistently challenged and devalued from inside and outside forces? He might not be important to some, but he damn sure means the world to Me. Rest peacefully, Sean Bell et al.....

Moving on, why is it that my Press-and-dent can lie, steal, cheat and stumble over simple English words for eight years with little or no resistance from the citizens, pundits or political representatives of our fair land, but My Pastor can't speak truth to power without being labeled a tyrant (I told y'all about fear)? Let the record show that I'm all for freedom of speech and opinion, but some people's criticism and ire, I think, is ill-placed.

What would The Elders say? Should we be taking to the F'n streets in new-aged revolt against our current government for the way they have been carrying us?! And by "us" I mean ALL of us, everydamnbody, regardless of race, gender, education or socio-economic status. They have treated us like a two-dollar whore (think stimulus checks). Remember and know this.... beeEss trickles down and we are all eventually affected in someway by the disrespect, deception, suffering, slighting, mistreatment and/or underserving of another human being.

Don't wait on Uncouth to come and ring your Cushy doorbell. Like Huey of The Boondocks so eloquently stated when a crazy Midwestern February day turned from 90 degrees to freezing within hours, "maybe the heat does make people crazy......before you know it, crazy becomes normal.....but, sanity eventually returns, and when it does, you better have your coat."

When you have time of course, I would be remiss if I didn't share the entire episode with you for your full understanding. It is well worth viewing here.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to catch Sportscenter. I'll choose ball banter, stats and highlights over depressing news any day.

Go J, Go Hawks!

The Prototype

I have a friend/Squirrel here in L.A. who swears that modern day women can't hold a stick to Rachel Robinson (just last week Mrs. Robinson was still representing for JRR and he's been gone to glory for thirty-six years) and Nancy Reagan when it comes to holding it down for ones man. "They just don't make 'em like that anymore", he says. He loves that they stood tall through thick and thin and aged gracefully and with dignity throughout it all. In his mind, a woman of that caliber is the ultimate prize, and I believe that he won't be satisfied until he finds his version.


Jackie and Rachel Robinson


Rachel Robinson

From Thomasine and Bushrod to Bonnie and Clyde, tales of women who act as both backbone and kryptonite for their men have always had a special place in my heart. You see, I consider myself to be of the same fabric (wink).

Fictionally and lightheartedly in this category, I think of Weezy (George), Helen (Tom), Claire (Cliff), and Claudine (Roop).

Historically, there was Coretta (Martin) and Betty (Malcolm). Presently, Alma (Colin), fills those shoes. But for me, there exist none better than Ruby Dee (Ossie), she is the quintessential.


Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee


There are contemporaries who perhaps fit the bill, but I don't want to stir up controversy, so I'll leave that alone.

However, Michelle Obama is proving herself to be a shining example. I dig her swag! I appreciate her confidence and sense of self. I admire her love and respect for Barack Obama. Check her handles.....



With a woman like this in his corner, a man stands a better chance.

Your thoughts?

In Memoriam and In Celebration

Today, our country remembers the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Forty years ago today, Dr. King was assassinated. There are ceremonies taking place throughout the country, but most notably, in Atlanta, GA, the place where he and his beloved Coretta Scott King are laid to rest. His surviving daughter, Elder Bernice King is speaking to young people at the Sacred Ebenezer Baptist Church. Also today, in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, Senator Obama has made a speech to commemorate Dr. King's legacy. Senator McCain remembered Dr. King while speaking in front of the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, TN, where Dr. King was gunned down. McCain expressed regret in having previously voted against the institution of a national holiday for Dr. King (you learn something new everyday). Sarcastically, I heard a sister yell out from the crowd, "how do you feel about the holiday today?". and he quickly responded "I feel okay." You've gotta love my people (smiles).

On another note, today is the eightieth birthday of the lovely, wonderful, cherished and treasured Dr. Maya Angelou, teacher and writer. She told Tamron Hall this morning on MSNBC, that for all these years, she had not celebrated her birthday because of Dr. King's murder. She also told of the bond she shared, on this day, with Coretta and how different the past two years have been without her.

My childhood was made richer because I was immersed in Black History. The contributions of people like these two are part of my foundation; a reason why I hold my head high.

Rest in peace, Dr. King.

Happy Birthday, Dr. Angelou!

Thanks to you both for your influence on my life.

Will The Real Ruckus Please Stand Up

Ahem....Ahem.....Calling all Drop Squad members!!!!!

The Squirrel below has officially lost his mind!



He is frightenly similar to my truly favorite, animated embodiment of pure, blissful ignorance.......The Boondocks very own, Uncle Ruckus.....



Swing low, sweet chariot.........

On Fear and Living

Good Morning America is my morning show of choice, I wake up to it daily. One of the featured segments today, was an in studio interview with Demi Moore. She spoke about her family and her new movie "Flawless" with Michael Cain. At the end of the interview, Diane asked her what her biggest flaw was. Demi's response stopped me in my tracks. According to her, her biggest flaw is "how much I can allow fear to dictate in my life." "Still?” Diane asked. Demi answered, "Yeah, because, it’s truly I think, a constant overcoming".

I relate to her feelings about fear on so many levels. It has proven to be a great hindrance in my life. I can only imagine where I might be in my journey were it not for fear. Fear of what, you ask? Well, I'm still working that one out. However, I recognize that I am the obstacle that stands in my way. It’s been said that admission and acceptance is half the battle.

So begins my fight.

Am I afraid of success? Am I afraid of true love? Am I afraid of not being "good enough"? Am I afraid of rejection? Failure? Losing? These are questions that I've been posing to myself and the answers, my friends, are not pretty. Certainly, we all have our own insecurities, but they are not always crippling, like say for instance, my fear of water. You see, I cannot swim. The Lady enrolled me in swim class as a child and the instructor (for lack of a better term) insisted that I travel to the bottom of the pool to retrieve a set of keys he purposely dropped. I remember that day vividly. I stood there shaking and trembling, teeth chattering, looking up into the stands for The Lady, hoping she would rush down and spare me the humiliation. It didn't happen that way, of course and as a matter of fact, I think that all parents were restricted from the pool area during class; they could only watch from the bleachers. There are times when your parents have to let you take your lumps. So, I had to take my turn. With timidity and FEAR, I went under the water to get those damn keys. Panic ensued and water was in my mouth and nose, I was flailing and crying and terrified. I could tell the instructor was annoyed, but class continued and I sat poolside, sniffling, whimpering, and wrapped in my towel, until it was over. After class, The Lady came down and got me, and promised me that I didn't have to return. I suppose this is part of the reason why I get testy and standoffish when people push me to do things I don't want to do.

Last summer, at my friend Jenny's house, we were enjoying a lovely summer day, bar-b-queing and having a great time. I got in the pool, on the shallow end, to play with the kids and "take some lessons" from them. Another adult offered to give me a few pointers and I trust him so I followed his lead. Everything was fine until a guest of the party, a stranger to me, decided to come down and grab me to drag me to the deep end. Not a good look. I became that little girl again. I was terrified, only this time I also became enraged and I had my hand around his neck with the intent to crush his windpipe. With my free hand I was swinging at him and begging him to let me go. Finally, I screamed and my girl Dan Belle jumped in to save me, and as they lifted me out of the pool, I was cryin' and cussin'. Our friend Alex had to tell the dude that I could not swim, and he tried to apologize, but it was too late. I was hearing none of that.

In my adult life, I see this fear of "drowning" manifest itself in so many ways. Some days I am fierce and determined, even brave. Those who are closest to me will be the first to say that I am courageous and bold. They use my move to LA as an example. It took a lot of guts to pack up my things and move here with no plan. Looking back, it was not a bright idea, but it worked, and is one of my proudest accomplishments. It essentially removed me from my comfort zone and forced me to be great. Prior to moving here I had an idea of how I wanted things to be, it was a fairytale of sorts, but in so many ways it actually happened. I got the right job, met the right people, had the support of my cousins, made a few friends, and from there everything took off. Six years later, I'm still here. Like Derek Luke's character says in Antwone Fisher, "I'm still standing, I'm still strong." But some days, I have doubts.

I don't want fear to rule nor ruin my life. I can point to a few things that have already suffered because of it. I was once a model, I can still crush a runway, but I was afraid to leave the states and go overseas, where I might have fared a lot better. I once hosted and produced my own sports show for local cable access in Chicago. The show was popular, and I was very good at it. I had plans to attend broadcasting school and become the first black female sports anchor in the city. Ask me what happened..........fear happened. Who knows, I might be like Pam Oliver, Lisa Salters or Suzy Kolber right now, holding it down on set or on the sidelines.

Two friends, both very special to me, have addressed this issue with me on separate occasions. They said things to me that I carry with me on a daily basis. One said, Maven, “fear is not an emotion that comes from God. Don’t give it energy” and the other shared with me a quote I believe he learned while pledging (Omega), it says “Fear is a mind-killer. It's a tiny little evil that envelops me from the inside out. I must face it and learn to control it”. Both of these guys are strong in my mind, they each have incredible stories for which I admire and celebrate them.

I think about my late Grandmothers when I am afraid or down on myself. They lived long, colorful lives, battled their own demons, and came out triumphant in the end. I think about other people who have touched my life, but since passed away, and I know they are looking down on me, always wishing for my success and well-being. I think about my parents, The Lady and Papa, who sacrifice for me, encourage me, and are my biggest cheerleaders, and although my father cautions me not to compare myself to others or measure my successes and failures by that of others, I can’t help but think about my best friends and their journeys and accomplishments; they make me so proud.

If you are out there doing “the damn thing”, I say keep doing it. You never know who is watching you or looking to you for inspiration.

As for me, I plan to learn to swim this summer. I consider it my first step toward overcoming my fears. And maybe while I'm taking my adult lessons, some child who is also learning, but is afraid will see me and it will become ok for them. I’ll keep you posted.

The Maven

Standing Up For What's Wright

This began as a comment to a post over at Dallas Penn. I felt myself getting a little carried away over there, so I brought it home. Be patient with me......

Before moving here to LaLa, I attended Trinity United Church of Christ. I love and admire Rev. Dr. Jeremiah A. Wright, Jr.
I still log on to tucc.org on Sunday mornings to watch the live broadcast, and I've been gone from home for six years! That's how dope this church is to me.

Growing up in Chicago may have given me somewhat of a militant identity. The history of Black folk in The Chi is rich and 'bout it. It is one of the most culturally rich, yet racially and economically segregated cities in our country, and the argument can be made that it is the toughest town around, politically ("vote early and often"). The current Mayor Daley is tough, his father, the cities first Mayor Daley, was rough and tumble. He shut folks down at the ' 68 Democratic National Convention, just because he didn't like what was being said at the podium. The late Mayor Harold Washington was tough, he was our first Black mayor, so that took the strength of Goliath all by itself. My great-uncle, Charles Hayes, born in Cairo, IL, went from being a leader of the meat packer's union to becoming a U.S. Congressman, filling the seat vacated by Harold Washington when he ran for mayor. If you can become a politician in Chicago, you can be a successful anywhere. If you can demonstrate a strong and influential voice in Chicago, you can hold it down anywhere.

With that said, I wish Rev. Wright's introduction to the "national stage" did not come via hatred and harsh scrutiny, but my feathers are not ruffled and my faith is still unshakable. I know his style of preaching well, and like most sermons delivered in a church, his messages are based upon a biblical scripture or religious principle. Like tapestry, he weaves the Word into present life and current events, and I've found myself sitting in awe of his brilliance and swagger time and time again. Is he a firecracker? Damn right. Is his style sometimes brash? No doubt. Is he radical? Some might say so, but I say no. I think he speaks truths that make people uncomfortable. So what? The truth hurts.

Tuesday, Senator Obama shut folks down about Rev with the quiet fierceness of that classic look your mama gives you when you have stepped out of line. It had to come to this, you know? There is only so much negativity one can stand before it becomes necessary to defend oneself and those you love and respect. This pot has been brewing and bubbling for some time now, and before it reached a boiling point, before the lid blew off from the pressure, the issues of race needed to be addressed. I applaud the Senator's bravado. I thank him for taking a stand and "clearing the air", we need to grow, we need to transcend. However, I am a bit pained that he HAD to condemn Pastor Wright's words. But I understand.

We live two lives around here. Our "black" lives and our assimilated lives. We live our "black lives" at church, at home, with our children and extended families, through our "Big Mamas" and "Big Daddies", within our friendships and relationships, our HBCU's, our fraternities and sororities, our music and literature, our political alliances, and through our entertainers and sports figures.

It really trips me out that all of a sudden SOME folks are all up and through the ins and outs of what we do within the confines of our own comfort zones. No one has been too concerned about what we do in our churches, before now. Why bring your news camera now? Jesus has been bringing good news to us every Sunday, where have you been? I haven't seen any overwhelming concern for what goes on in our children's inner-city schools. I don't think people care too much about the high rates of STD's and more specifically HIV/AIDS amongst our women, young and old. It bothers some not, that our boys and men are languishing behind bars nor is there much concern about the reasons they ended up there in the first place. Black and brown crime is only an issue when it comes rollin' down a block where it shouldn't be.

But guess what, we care. The results of the discrimination suffered by blacks run deep like a river. Trust me when I say it hurts. It damages the psyche, casts doubt, and results in anger, yet we always find cause to celebrate and reason to rise above. Rev. Wright exemplifies all of that. I don't feel that he is racist. He is not a "demagogue" or a "hatemonger". He is wise and he has LIVED through some heavy stuff. I don't think he's out of touch; quite the contrary, he's remarkably hip. His views might be a little old school, his vantage point is vast and reflective of his life experiences, past and present. He's a scholar and an intellect. He speaks many languages and can spit some mean lyrics too. He is kind and soulful. And just like other older folks, of any race, he will verbally cut you to the quick so fast that you won't know what hit you.

He is a man, well respected, revered and loved. He means well and has sincere intentions. It appears from those clips, he is not perfect. But who is? When you run up on that perfect person let me know, so I can cross the street.

The church has a You Tube channel, that you can find here. Log on and check out some of Dr. Wright's sermons IN THEIR ENTIRETY. You might learn something, or not. I'll leave that up to you.

The Maven

Hungarian Goulash

Today, an elderly man, a self-proclaimed "Hungarian Jew", dressed in head-to-toe L.A. Laker gear, the largest headphones I've ever seen, and toting two testy Pomeranians, stopped me in front of the Post Office to discuss politics. **Crickets**

As one who has a very soft spot for senior citizens, I reluctantly engaged in this unsolicited conversation. He began by asking me my thoughts on Gerri Ferraro's comments about Senator Obama's perceived racial advantage. He seemed to want me to be as outraged as he portrayed himself to be. In no uncertain terms, he felt Ms. Ferraro was wrong in her assessment. I simply told him that I believe she spoke from her own insecurities about gender and power, at which he nodded, and then commented on how insightful I was. He then goes on to tell me how unlike most folks like him, he understands "the black experience", having family members who were victims of Nazi Germany, and having once lived on 35Th and "Shaw" when he was a car salesman. I asked him to clarify "Shaw" for me, at which time I learned that he was speaking of Crenshaw Boulevard, "you know, the HOOD." Deep sigh. More **Crickets**

He then jumps to the subject of Michelle Obama, and gets a little boiled over her comments about her first time being proud of the country, yada yada, yada. He goes on about how she has benefited from Affirmative Action and how she, herself, supposedly admitted to having been an average student (I don't know anything about this) and that she was able to obtain an Ivy League education because of Affirmative Action, and he had a 4.0 GPA and didn't get "ushered" in like her, so how dare she yada, yada, yada.

He also pointed out how much money she and Barack were making, which to me had no place in our, I mean , HIS conversation. I finally told him, that Michelle's comments, while perhaps not properly delivered, were very relevant, and I understood EXACTLY what she meant. He wanted to know how I could agree when she has benefited so greatly in this country. So........I informed him that he never has, nor ever will live her American life, and that I, being closer to her in age than he was (obviously), equal to her in gender, similar to her in the "black womanhood experience", AND the South Side of Chicago experience, could better identify with her statement. Again he expressed his delight in my insight, then told me I was a smart girl. Surprise! I politely excused myself, told him to (kick rocks) have a nice day and continued on about my business.

Everything happens for a reason. Respect your elders.