Recently, I saw a photo of a friend of a friend who was, how should I say this........packin' in her brazier. While her size was amazingly unlike anything I've EVER seen, I must admit I felt a bit envious of "freedom" and obvious confidence in the cards she was dealt.
So I happily declare......I am a B, and dammit, I like 'em! LOL!
Women and men both suffer greatly from image issues, but I am gonna deal with the ladies on this one. Fellas, I'll get at you in a separate post.
As a child and into adolescence, I was teased a great deal for being skinny. In some ways those opinions have never left me, and it manifests itself in my obsession with having a delicious boo-tay. If I had rump like Meagan Goode, Kelly Rowland or Michelle Williams (I chose them because they're tiny), then I would be batting one hundred.
The sad part in all of this, is if I surveyed ten of my friends, all would have one or two things about their bodies, face or hair, that they deemed imperfect.
There is no need to ask how we get to this point. There are endless factors that play a role, but the solution lies within! Embrace yourselves. Embrace it all; the tall, short, skinny, and plump. Claim the soft tresses, ,the weave, the tight coils, the bone straight, the kinks, the natural, the relaxed, and the short and long of it all. Celebrate the curves or the lack thereof. Love your A, B, C, D and double cups; your full or thin lips; your broad or keen nose. Have a big forehead, big feet or a chicken neck? Whatever it is, its all good, because its you!
Also, make it a point to love your sisters, regardless of race or age. We need each others approval and moral support! We must become and remain confident and strong so we're able to pass this stellar self esteem along to our lil' mamas!
Peace and Blessings,
The Maven
3.12.2009
3.05.2009
I Need the Game
When I began this blog, I envisioned it as a place where my spirit could breath and my mind could be free. I just knew it would be a great place for me to hone my writing skills and communicate with my core group of family and friends as well as the masses. I believe in some ways I succeeded, but feel as though I failed also. It has forced me to look DEEP (think James Earl Jones when you read) within.
As failure is often in the beholders eye, for the sake of not coming down on myself too hard, I will deem these self-perceptions as missteps. 2008 was a hell of a drug. The "F" your couch type. I was the couch and D.ave C.happelle's feet represented almighty life itself.
I do realize that I wasn't alone, but I am only speaking for self right now when I say, thank God for times past! I received a comeuppance of sorts in '08, especially towards the end. When they say, "you don't miss the water 'til your well runs dry", I believe they forgot to address it directly toward me. Suffice to say, I made it through and my gratitude overflows to those who helped me mentally, spiritually and financially; I definitely have some angelic and loving people amongst my intimates right now. But, its time for me to get back on the right track, back on the "right side of life" as I like to say (smiles to mom, The Lady).
Yes, I have a "good payin' job" (sarcasm). But, I miss the those things that I'd been living to do, the "do what you love and the money will follow" types of moves. Those closest to me understand where my passions lie. While I've always felt that the game needs me, I now completely understand, that I also need the game. Without it, I am not motivated, I feel dejected at times, out of sorts with myself and my surroundings and just downright powerless. Granted, the game wore me down at times, broke my spirit, but looking back, it wasn't so bad and had I truly focused and adjusted my plan as needed.......BINGO!
I try not to cry over spilled soy milk, so I'm taking these lessons and preparing to apply them once again to my game, THE game.
I've been pondering the idea of one doing what one loves, for a few weeks now. I've asked friends, like my boys at B2G Sports, as well as complete strangers, if they are doing what they love and would they have it any other way. The answers have come with a resounding yes from most, and I use that as wind beneath my wings, because seeing is believing and I have great examples and I know its true. I've also been reading the blogs of others, like , twentyeight30, Dallas Penn and my man FreeMan Press, who is enlightening in a very in your face kind of way. Check him out, he is not playing in these streets!
Today, I read a quote that said something to the effect of, "if you are not doing what you love, you are wasting your time." So, I remind myself constantly, that is the reinforcement I must give myself. I gotta get back to all that I know and love, and that includes my sports, my literature (I'm gunnin' for the latest J. California Cooper book), my gardening and especially my writing.
I hope you come back with me, because if you missed me a little, I missed you tenfold!
The Maven
As failure is often in the beholders eye, for the sake of not coming down on myself too hard, I will deem these self-perceptions as missteps. 2008 was a hell of a drug. The "F" your couch type. I was the couch and D.ave C.happelle's feet represented almighty life itself.
I do realize that I wasn't alone, but I am only speaking for self right now when I say, thank God for times past! I received a comeuppance of sorts in '08, especially towards the end. When they say, "you don't miss the water 'til your well runs dry", I believe they forgot to address it directly toward me. Suffice to say, I made it through and my gratitude overflows to those who helped me mentally, spiritually and financially; I definitely have some angelic and loving people amongst my intimates right now. But, its time for me to get back on the right track, back on the "right side of life" as I like to say (smiles to mom, The Lady).
Yes, I have a "good payin' job" (sarcasm). But, I miss the those things that I'd been living to do, the "do what you love and the money will follow" types of moves. Those closest to me understand where my passions lie. While I've always felt that the game needs me, I now completely understand, that I also need the game. Without it, I am not motivated, I feel dejected at times, out of sorts with myself and my surroundings and just downright powerless. Granted, the game wore me down at times, broke my spirit, but looking back, it wasn't so bad and had I truly focused and adjusted my plan as needed.......BINGO!
I try not to cry over spilled soy milk, so I'm taking these lessons and preparing to apply them once again to my game, THE game.
I've been pondering the idea of one doing what one loves, for a few weeks now. I've asked friends, like my boys at B2G Sports, as well as complete strangers, if they are doing what they love and would they have it any other way. The answers have come with a resounding yes from most, and I use that as wind beneath my wings, because seeing is believing and I have great examples and I know its true. I've also been reading the blogs of others, like , twentyeight30, Dallas Penn and my man FreeMan Press, who is enlightening in a very in your face kind of way. Check him out, he is not playing in these streets!
Today, I read a quote that said something to the effect of, "if you are not doing what you love, you are wasting your time." So, I remind myself constantly, that is the reinforcement I must give myself. I gotta get back to all that I know and love, and that includes my sports, my literature (I'm gunnin' for the latest J. California Cooper book), my gardening and especially my writing.
I hope you come back with me, because if you missed me a little, I missed you tenfold!
The Maven
1.17.2009
Happy Birthday, Capricorn!
From one Cap to another, I wish our First Lady a wonderful, loving and blessed birthday!
Michelle, you are a diamond!
-The Maven
11.26.2008
Give Thanks '08
Loved Ones,
Happy Thanksgiving!
Yes, it is that time again, time for my annual message of gratitude and appreciation. This year has presented many highs and lows, in my life and in some of yours, as well. Personally, I am experiencing a metamorphosis of sorts, and it has affected me in ways that I cannot quite explain. However, I will say, that I am meeting a new "me", and reacquainting myself with aspects of myself, I feared I had lost. For this, I say hallelujah!
Last year, I encouraged you to create a list of things you wanted to accomplish for 2008. Two-thousand eight is on its way out of here, so how did you do? I was supposed to learn to swim, in order to conquer fears that grip me when its time to take a next big step in life. Those lessons did not happen, so it will be carried over to my ’09 list. The reasons are not so important, so long as I have not given up the desire to learn. I shall swim! I have begun to face my fears in other ways though, and it’s a process but I see the good in it. It frees me up to maximize my potential and share my gifts.
The Creator will allow us to remain in spaces that are difficult and challenging, and sometimes dark, until we learn the lesson(s) for which he has presented the situation in the first place. If you ever wonder why certain things keep happening to you, look within first. It is our nature, to be hardheaded and stubborn at times, and usually, we stand in our own way. This is "blocking your blessings" and if you take a moment, and look within, you are sure to recall times when you have done this to yourself. I say, please stop. We’d be best served, I believe, to name it, claim it, and then move out the way. I'm done lecturing. :)
I am thankful this day, for my family and friends, near and far. I’ve reconnected with some childhood friends and that has been a highlight for me. Today, my parents are in Chicago, as are my Aunt Day Day, my uncles, my brother, and a host of cousins and life long friends. My Auntie Lil' Mama is in Nashville along with my cousin Bertie and other cousins. I will be spending the day with my L.A. family, and for them, I am SO grateful. They, along with my LA friends, offer a sense of belonging and normalcy.
What I love most about Thanksgiving is that it is a reminder that you are never alone. It is a chance to come together with people you like and love to relax and be comforted. We eat ourselves into oblivion and return home with a smile. It is a time to put your troubles aside and celebrate the goodness of life (and watch some games.)
Although we are living in uncertain and stressful times due to the economy, and what seems like a never-ending war, I encourage you to remain faithful, knowing that this too shall pass. We must come together, and support one another in any and all ways possible. No longer can we afford to live in our own cushy bubbles, as if the world outside, around us, is inconsequential. You see where that has gotten us.
I give endless thanks that I was here to witness the election of our first black president. I know I have not spoken much about it, and there aren't too many things that render me speechless, but this is one of them. I must admit, I am STILL soaking it in. It's a proud moment in our history and for our country, and I can't wait to take this journey with the Obama family! I could not ask for a more shining example of manhood, womanhood and family.
As always, I am honored to know you, and blessed by your presence in my life!
With Endless Love,
RSY aka The Maven
Happy Thanksgiving!
Yes, it is that time again, time for my annual message of gratitude and appreciation. This year has presented many highs and lows, in my life and in some of yours, as well. Personally, I am experiencing a metamorphosis of sorts, and it has affected me in ways that I cannot quite explain. However, I will say, that I am meeting a new "me", and reacquainting myself with aspects of myself, I feared I had lost. For this, I say hallelujah!
Last year, I encouraged you to create a list of things you wanted to accomplish for 2008. Two-thousand eight is on its way out of here, so how did you do? I was supposed to learn to swim, in order to conquer fears that grip me when its time to take a next big step in life. Those lessons did not happen, so it will be carried over to my ’09 list. The reasons are not so important, so long as I have not given up the desire to learn. I shall swim! I have begun to face my fears in other ways though, and it’s a process but I see the good in it. It frees me up to maximize my potential and share my gifts.
The Creator will allow us to remain in spaces that are difficult and challenging, and sometimes dark, until we learn the lesson(s) for which he has presented the situation in the first place. If you ever wonder why certain things keep happening to you, look within first. It is our nature, to be hardheaded and stubborn at times, and usually, we stand in our own way. This is "blocking your blessings" and if you take a moment, and look within, you are sure to recall times when you have done this to yourself. I say, please stop. We’d be best served, I believe, to name it, claim it, and then move out the way. I'm done lecturing. :)
I am thankful this day, for my family and friends, near and far. I’ve reconnected with some childhood friends and that has been a highlight for me. Today, my parents are in Chicago, as are my Aunt Day Day, my uncles, my brother, and a host of cousins and life long friends. My Auntie Lil' Mama is in Nashville along with my cousin Bertie and other cousins. I will be spending the day with my L.A. family, and for them, I am SO grateful. They, along with my LA friends, offer a sense of belonging and normalcy.
What I love most about Thanksgiving is that it is a reminder that you are never alone. It is a chance to come together with people you like and love to relax and be comforted. We eat ourselves into oblivion and return home with a smile. It is a time to put your troubles aside and celebrate the goodness of life (and watch some games.)
Although we are living in uncertain and stressful times due to the economy, and what seems like a never-ending war, I encourage you to remain faithful, knowing that this too shall pass. We must come together, and support one another in any and all ways possible. No longer can we afford to live in our own cushy bubbles, as if the world outside, around us, is inconsequential. You see where that has gotten us.
I give endless thanks that I was here to witness the election of our first black president. I know I have not spoken much about it, and there aren't too many things that render me speechless, but this is one of them. I must admit, I am STILL soaking it in. It's a proud moment in our history and for our country, and I can't wait to take this journey with the Obama family! I could not ask for a more shining example of manhood, womanhood and family.
As always, I am honored to know you, and blessed by your presence in my life!
With Endless Love,
RSY aka The Maven
11.12.2008
Drop It
In the last moments of my dream this morning, before I awoke, I found myself driving along, when suddenly, my car stopped. No warning, no jerking, no smoke, no noise.
It just stopped.
I got out and began to push it towards a service station, and as you know, dreams can be weird, so as I began to push and guide the car, grocery cart handles appeared on the trunk. Go figure. Anyway, I got the car to the shoulder of the road, which by the way, was very reminiscent of Lake Shore Drive in Chicago, and there was the gas station........at the top of a hill! So I pushed and pushed, and the car, having a mind of its own, would occasionally, get turned around. I was maneuvering the car by the grocery cart handles (imagine a cart with tricky wheels) and it was turning in all sorts of directions, so at times I was pulling it up the hill. There was a man standing at the top, filling his car with gas, and he looked like he wanted to help, but he was hesitant. Nonetheless, I kept at it, I had to get my car some service. I had places to go.
I finally made it to the top, the service department was closed, and as I was standing there trying to decide my next move, the car rolled back down the hill! I stood there, jumping up and down, yelling, for someone at the bottom to catch it! But it rolled off of, what seemed like a ledge, and crashed. I ran down to the bottom, and there lay a smashed piece of metal, almost compacted. I picked it up in my hand and cried.
I am relaying this to say "let it go".
This is what my dream told me. It told me to let it all go. We can push and pull and prod and sometimes we still lose, but after more reflection, in that loss, there is the victory. Be still! These are trying times for many people and if its not you, its very likely someone you know. Of course, "trouble don't last always" and if you think back, I'm certain there is a time in your life where you felt you wouldn't make it through, but somehow, by His grace, you did.
Listen, we cannot solve every problem or be all things to all people. Sometimes, we can't be everything, even to ourselves. Just take things day by day. Wake up and count your blessings. Choose one thing to be happy about, or ten if you've got it like that. But, by all means, choose to be HAPPY. Choose to smile. Choose to laugh. Choose to help someone else; be an angel in disguise. Choose to accomplish something new, TODAY!
Its all good for the soul.
I love you.
The Maven
It just stopped.
I got out and began to push it towards a service station, and as you know, dreams can be weird, so as I began to push and guide the car, grocery cart handles appeared on the trunk. Go figure. Anyway, I got the car to the shoulder of the road, which by the way, was very reminiscent of Lake Shore Drive in Chicago, and there was the gas station........at the top of a hill! So I pushed and pushed, and the car, having a mind of its own, would occasionally, get turned around. I was maneuvering the car by the grocery cart handles (imagine a cart with tricky wheels) and it was turning in all sorts of directions, so at times I was pulling it up the hill. There was a man standing at the top, filling his car with gas, and he looked like he wanted to help, but he was hesitant. Nonetheless, I kept at it, I had to get my car some service. I had places to go.
I finally made it to the top, the service department was closed, and as I was standing there trying to decide my next move, the car rolled back down the hill! I stood there, jumping up and down, yelling, for someone at the bottom to catch it! But it rolled off of, what seemed like a ledge, and crashed. I ran down to the bottom, and there lay a smashed piece of metal, almost compacted. I picked it up in my hand and cried.
I am relaying this to say "let it go".
This is what my dream told me. It told me to let it all go. We can push and pull and prod and sometimes we still lose, but after more reflection, in that loss, there is the victory. Be still! These are trying times for many people and if its not you, its very likely someone you know. Of course, "trouble don't last always" and if you think back, I'm certain there is a time in your life where you felt you wouldn't make it through, but somehow, by His grace, you did.
Listen, we cannot solve every problem or be all things to all people. Sometimes, we can't be everything, even to ourselves. Just take things day by day. Wake up and count your blessings. Choose one thing to be happy about, or ten if you've got it like that. But, by all means, choose to be HAPPY. Choose to smile. Choose to laugh. Choose to help someone else; be an angel in disguise. Choose to accomplish something new, TODAY!
Its all good for the soul.
I love you.
The Maven
11.04.2008
Mediocrity Just Left the Building
Believe me when I say.....this has been the most emotional day of my life! I am proud to be an American and proud to be an African-American.
He is our President, she is our First Lady, and they are our First Family.
This is the end of mediocrity and the beginning of excellence!
Get ready to be great!
The Maven
Just one more reason....
I wish my Grandmothers could have lived to see this day, my Aunts Robbie and Rozzie, my cousins, a few friends and mentors.....
I am blessed that my parents have experienced this day so that we may share in these moments and memories together. It would be nice to be home in Chicago today, but I'll be there in spirit.
Entering the polls this morning, I felt so many things.......excitement, nervousness, joy, and sadness. I was so full as I walked home, and the tears rolled down my face, and the sun was shining, and I am happy. I am happy to have experienced this historic moment, first hand, up close and personal.
With love,
Obama '08!
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