3.05.2009

I Need the Game

When I began this blog, I envisioned it as a place where my spirit could breath and my mind could be free. I just knew it would be a great place for me to hone my writing skills and communicate with my core group of family and friends as well as the masses. I believe in some ways I succeeded, but feel as though I failed also. It has forced me to look DEEP (think James Earl Jones when you read) within.

As failure is often in the beholders eye, for the sake of not coming down on myself too hard, I will deem these self-perceptions as missteps. 2008 was a hell of a drug. The "F" your couch type. I was the couch and D.ave C.happelle's feet represented almighty life itself.

I do realize that I wasn't alone, but I am only speaking for self right now when I say, thank God for times past! I received a comeuppance of sorts in '08, especially towards the end. When they say, "you don't miss the water 'til your well runs dry", I believe they forgot to address it directly toward me. Suffice to say, I made it through and my gratitude overflows to those who helped me mentally, spiritually and financially; I definitely have some angelic and loving people amongst my intimates right now. But, its time for me to get back on the right track, back on the "right side of life" as I like to say (smiles to mom, The Lady).

Yes, I have a "good payin' job" (sarcasm). But, I miss the those things that I'd been living to do, the "do what you love and the money will follow" types of moves. Those closest to me understand where my passions lie. While I've always felt that the game needs me, I now completely understand, that I also need the game. Without it, I am not motivated, I feel dejected at times, out of sorts with myself and my surroundings and just downright powerless. Granted, the game wore me down at times, broke my spirit, but looking back, it wasn't so bad and had I truly focused and adjusted my plan as needed.......BINGO!

I try not to cry over spilled soy milk, so I'm taking these lessons and preparing to apply them once again to my game, THE game.

I've been pondering the idea of one doing what one loves, for a few weeks now. I've asked friends, like my boys at B2G Sports, as well as complete strangers, if they are doing what they love and would they have it any other way. The answers have come with a resounding yes from most, and I use that as wind beneath my wings, because seeing is believing and I have great examples and I know its true. I've also been reading the blogs of others, like , twentyeight30, Dallas Penn and my man FreeMan Press, who is enlightening in a very in your face kind of way. Check him out, he is not playing in these streets!

Today, I read a quote that said something to the effect of, "if you are not doing what you love, you are wasting your time." So, I remind myself constantly, that is the reinforcement I must give myself. I gotta get back to all that I know and love, and that includes my sports, my literature (I'm gunnin' for the latest J. California Cooper book), my gardening and especially my writing.

I hope you come back with me, because if you missed me a little, I missed you tenfold!

The Maven

3 comments:

Aunt Jackie said...

paying bills is DEFINITELY underrated. As someone who does work in my passion field, at the end of the day it's work. I'm about to embark upon a two week stint with no time, and travel back and forth across the country all willy nilly due to poor planning on my company's part and I'm so tired I could cry...and I'm not even gone yet.

I work so that my LIFE can be filled with passion and yes the means justify the ends..mostly but the journey itself is the reward so embrace and love where you are cuz it helps get you to the next phase!

The Maven said...

You are so correct about those bills!

I am just taking it day by day, but I am CERTAIN that by God's grace, everything will be alright! :)

Be safe on your grind!! I remember feeling that tired....I gotta get back to that too! LOL!

Marcella said...

Hey sistahhhhhhhhh ! You know we have missed you ALOT :) Get back to what makes you happiest cuz you make a lot of us happy with your words. You are always a pilar of strength and I appreciate you being one of my closest friends and I cherish our times and memories and cant wait to make more in the future. Dem babies send auntie Rob a kiss (muahhhh).